OMG I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU. Okay, I’m chill.
So, I’m literally just in the door from my first date with my first potential sugar daddy. Literally as soon as I got home, I kicked my heels off, tied my hair up and grabbed a bowl of cheerios. Because I’m super mature. And if that doesn’t tell you anything about women then I don’t know what will. So, I’m gonna tell you about the motions that I went through before the date, how the date went and what’s going to happen thereafter.
So, last night I literally couldn’t stop thinking about this date and what it meant. Did this make me a prostitute? Did it make me a whore? Being paid for your company, regardless of the involvement of sex is something that is massively looked down upon. And as a result, I spent the entire evening (when I should have been sleeping, so until like 4am) staring at my walls and wondering what the hell I was doing with my life. Did it make me a bad person? Should I just have cancelled the date? Should I have just deleted my entire online page and try and forget the hideous idea and move on, and hope and pray that my best friend didn’t use this as leverage when she wanted out of buying our weekly dominos addiction? These are great questions, and despite being great questions, they are questions that I decided to ignore.
I ignored them for like so many reasons, the first being that the entire arrangement was up to me. I didn’t have to do anything that I didn’t want to and Jesus Christ it was literally a coffee date, it’s not like he expected me to lay it down on the table right then and there. The second, was that I promised to be open minded and honest during this fucking weird situation. I’m here for research purposes, I’m here to make money and I’m here because I currently don’t have the ability to stand up for myself. And if there is anything I have learned within the last few days, it’s how to tell men to fuck off. (So ya know, yaaaaay progress). So, because of all of these reasons (yup, all three of them) I decided that I was going to go.
I fought through so many horrible thoughts and feelings and curbed every “UHHHHHH I DON’T WANNA DO THIS” thought and dressed up and left. (It’s also like pouring down with rain in Glasgow right now so that totally sucked). Every article I had read before said that you should dress elegantly and wear natural looking make up. (Which I did and it was so weird because I didn’t have winged eyeliner and highlighter on and it felt really weird but fuck it, when in Rome and all that).
THEN I LEFT THE HOUSE, GRABBED AN UBER AND ARRIVED. Well… I used my blow dryer / hair dryer to get the wrinkles out of my dress first and had to shower to wash away the fake tan smell (cause I’m a classy ass bitch) and then there I was, in Starbucks, face to face with him.
Well, I mean I totally had a sneaky cigarette right before I walked in and he ordered my coffee. At first it was like super awkward because what the hell are you even supposed to say to your potential sugar daddy, the man who is going to pay you cash money just to be his pal? So instead of suffering through awkward silences (which I don’t ever really have because I never know when to stop talking) I apologised about being late (I was like 15 minutes late shut up I was freaking out, okay?) and complained about the weather and about traffic and then we made small talk for a little while. He asked about my life plans and what I was currently doing work wise and he asked about my birthday plans (sadly, there was no birthday present I’m sad to announce, although to be fair, for all he knew I could have been a massive let down and then a birthday gift would have just been a total waste of the ££££, still, sad face).
He told me about his recent escapades on the website and asked what type of people I had come across -now obviously I overplayed the whole “guys have literally asked to pay me for sex, but I was like hell no I’m not prostitute” just to get the point across that I WILL NOT BE FUCKING RANDOM STRANGERS FOR MONEY. (Side note: I have nothing against prostitutes and if they want to fuck people for money then GIRL POWER because that shit takes balls and if they’re happy (which they probably are cause they’re probably loaded) then well done sweetheart, I’m so proud – no sarcasm intended). Aye, anyway, I think he got the message because he was all “yeah I totally understand and that’s not what I’m looking for at all, if it happens then fantastic but it’s the companionship I’m after too” which kinda made me a little dubious because isn’t that what they all say? Like how many times have you heard, “you’re so amazing, I just want to spend time with you and I’m not really bothered about the sex, if you don’t want to we won’t” and then ten minutes later he’s trying to grind against you during the opening credits?
That being said, he was actually a lovely guy. Yes, he’s at least twice my age and yes, it was super weird and totally out of my comfort zone but it was not even half as bad as I was expecting it to be. He was charming and funny and he did make me laugh a few times (bonus, cause I love guys that can make me laugh) so all in all, for a first date, it wasn’t too shabby. Like, I was totally freaking out that I would bump into someone that I knew, but once we started talking, the background kind of fell away and an hour just flew by. We probably talked for like an hour and a half in total. Which is weird, cause an hour and a half in my actual job, would have dragged the fuck on.
So, main points of conversation. He did ask that if we ever did become physical, that he should be the only person that I am involved with at that time. Which was totally understandable but also like, super weird because how would he actually know? Like I’m not saying that I’m going to be using a bunch of guys at the same time but like, if I was that type of person, how exactly would he ever find out? I guess he’s a very trusting person, because I would literally be like WHO TF IS THIS SLUT?! Like every day so that’s cool.
The next point that we discussed was the financial side of things. So, his current offer was £2000 per month for 2-3 dates (HOLY SHIT – I know right?) but this wasn’t specific enough for me, I wanted to know exactly what I was getting myself in for and exactly what was expected of me. I asked how the financial side would work and when it would begin (like would he only start paying me if we started fucking? BECAUSE HELLO THAT’S BEING A PROSTITUE!) So I did what any normal person would do. I asked him, pretty much like how I just wrote, subtle I know. I said that if the “date of intimacy” (let’s call it that) did coincide with the date of payment, then that would make me feel like a hoe and that I wasn’t comfortable with that. I then offered the whole ‘pay per meet’ idea, as then he could pay what he felt was appropriate as there would be no sex involved until we got to know one another and until I was comfortable. AND HE SAID THAT IT WAS OKAY. I mean obviously he did, I’m a catch and he would be stupid to let me walk away.
Another super relevant side note: you could literally see it in his face how blown away he was by me, which totally makes me sound big headed but he literally said “I can’t believe that you’re on that website, you honestly don’t look like that type of girl” which obviously made my feminism kick in like WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT TYPE OF GIRL? WHAT DOES THAT TYPE OF GIRL USUSALLY LOOK LIKE but then obvs I didn’t say that because hello psycho. He asked me like three times what was wrong with me because I shouldn’t be single and ready to be on a website like that one. Which, just fyi, massive confidence boost!
So, all in all, it wasn’t that bad and I got coffee out of the equation which was nice (OH AND THIS SUPER NICE LADY AT STARBUCKS GAVE ME COUPONS- SCORE, AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT?!) and then he promised to message me to arrange another date and we hugged and then went our separate ways. He probably went back to his super important life earning like a fuck ton of money, and I went to Primark to buy some booty shorts for my holiday tomorrow. Oh how different we truly are.
And that’s it, there is the story of my first date. I looked lovely when I left the house (thanks to my hair dryer), got absolutely soaked and was 15 minutes late and he then fell in love with me. So far, this sugar daddy dating scene –although somewhat creepy/seedy depending on who you talk to- isn’t too bad (I’m highly aware that it was only one date and I can’t compare the entire thing to one date but I mean as of right now, it’s going good).
Final side note: I told him that I was blogging about my experience and he seemed less interested but more concerned, he asked if he had made an appearance and I lied and said that it was only really the creeps that I had written about and he seemed happy with that response. So here’s hoping that he doesn’t try and track this shit down because that would be super awkward. Haaaa hello potential sugar daddy number 1.
LAST SIDE NOTE I TOTALLY PROMISE : I have more to fill you in on but today is my birthday and I’m literally about to head out the door with my girls. I’ll try and write some more before heading on holiday 🙂 LOVE YOU ALL XXXX